waiting.....

How much longer must I wait....
Do you think I am just going to wait for you....
You treat me as I am not exist at all...
selfishness is really filled up within you.....
I don't need to worry about you.....
because sooner or later I am going to be free from you.....
I don't love you anymore...
I don't want to love a man who doesn't love me.....

I want to live a happy life......

I want to live a happy life...
it doesn't have to be complex....
just simple and nice....
it doesn't have to be full of frame ....
glory and power.....
it just need to be real ....
spend time with the loved ones....
travel around world with them.
well, with my lover too...
if I have one.
right now....
I am not sure at all.....

childhood

I have taken some photo album to look at~
it was such a wonderful ride in the past~
past is a good thing~
I have the best parents in the world~
God's gift~
gifts of life~
I love them so much.

Waiting

Waiting for something happened~
could he just disappear into the thin air~
without any contacting me~
I think I should know the ending soon.
He said I am a very nice gal.
but I don't know anymore~
could this be a hint?
that he wants to break up with me.
but he is afraid of telling me this.....
I don't like this....
I just wish no more....
no more waiting....
just forget
move on...
I don't want to wait on someone ...
Who doesn't love me at all....

not happy~

I am not happy with you~
because I expect too much from you~
I should be happy ~
because I don't have to settle with you~
it is my fault ~
I take you too seriously~
I shouldn't do that~
I make the same mistake~
and I hate that~
you doing so well,~
live in your world~
I live painfully in my own little world~
because you can't seem to walk in mine~
I can't even live in your world~
I don't know if I could have a chance to go on with you~
but I surely want to change my thinking~
and style ~
So I could live freely too.~
I hate to be bounded by your shitty words~
I don't believe them
go find your Miss Right in your place~
I can't belive ~
I believe you~
I believe you would come to see me~
but no~
there is always excuses~
not to see me~
ok~
enough is enough~
I don't need this

freedom

I want to have freedom to live happily~
how dare you entrapped me by your words~
I can't believe ~
I believe you~
those sweet words are just a foul play from a man~
they just want to entrapped woman~
then put them into the rest~
I want to be free~
who are you?
how dare you treat me this way/
you think I can't live without you~
I will make sure I won't entrap you from your words anymore~
so much for believing you ~
I have too much expectation from you~
I guess you are not the one~
I am sorry to put you on the spot~
I won't wait for you any longer~
I don't think it is worth it~
I wish I could forget about you entirely ~
I have nothing to say.

If I were........

If I were a man~
I have a girlfriend~
I won't do this kind of things~
like my boyfriend do to me~
ignore me as if I am not exist~
I have to phone him myself~
He is not active at all~
He thought he know me better~
but there is still things he needs to keep up~
be with me~
if he doesn't want to lose me~
he better keep it up ~
because sooner or later~
I will have a job~
I won't have time for him~
He can't blame me for it ~
he wants his space~
I can understand that~
but he also have to have time to put into this relationship~
otherwise why he tells me the sweet words~
so he can keep me~
He thought he already have me~
so he could wait until the sun is down~
I don't know ~
should I keep on waiting?
I hate him sometimes~
why can't he be thinking about me sometimes~
Is this really he wanted this way~
He really hurt me .....
when he said he will come to see me in the end of June~
right now we haven't meet each other at all~
Is he going to wait until time pass away?
I don't want to waste my time.
I want someone better.
Someone has time for me~
instead of job~
anyway
I hate him~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why can he live better than me~
sometimes I wish I could have a job~
my own place, my good simple life style~
sometimes come to visit my parents.
I don't want a wood person besides me ~
last time we met........
I find out there is something bad happened~
he doesn't want to see me~
he doesn't want to meet me~
if I were him.....
I would say the real feelings in my heart~
I won't waste my girlfriend's time~
I want my girlfriend to be happy.
I hate you........
Why can't you make sometimes for me~
is that hard?
Am I not special ?
Am I just a wood?
I just want to ignore him
this month.
no way.
I won't send anything~
it is too hard and tired to do so.
sorry if I disappear~
because you disappear before me~
I hope to forget you.....
Forget you....
treat you as a stranger......
that is what I want to do
I should learn from you....
you are the best teacher.....
for me.....
treat me as non existent...
from now on ~
I want to live my life~
until you find me.`
if there is someone better ~
I will know that person~
because you are too smart and good looking for me~
I want to take lightly to you.`
From now on you are just a boyfriend when you need me~
you find me~
Nope I won't find you ~
I care too much about you~
see ya ~
this Sheila is dead~
New Sheila is alive~
I won't take any closer look towards you ~
because it is too late....
good bye.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to be or not to be

As I put myself into Humlet's position~
In a relationship sense~
I think I put too many attention to my boyfriend~
I don't know what am I suppose to do~
just think I have no boyfriend~
just live by myself~
What should I do now~
I feel sad~
he doesn't give me enough attention to me~
I feel so sad ~
but he seems ok~
with or without me~
he doesn't even say "dearest"so and so~
I feel so far away from him~
should I just ignore him~
until he contact me~
I don't know~
I just pray if this is not God's will ~
I hope God end it all soon.

who knows..........

I don't know~
I just really don't know ~
what's to be fall in love like?
laughable right?
because I don't know what is to be like to be fall in love.
ha ha
just like a scratch paper,
a sticker
just put it on when you needed
then when there is no needed
just taken it off.
put it off on the ground.
ha ha
terrible.
when there comes to relationship
I have nothing to say.
but to say try again.
sad
not a good place to be
when you be with me.
scare of past is coming back.
terror to be throw out .
who knows........

aftermath of a Typhoon

Typhoon is going away,
but leave the land with its destruction,
leave the place to its ruins,
everything needs to be reconstructed,
leave its place to its rage.

Sweet dreams

sweet dreams are real~
with sweet contentment~

Typhoon

Typhoon is already here~
at least two days~
well, I hope it won't stay any longer~
I hope it disappears~
to nowhere~
strong winds~
more rain~
broken umbrellas~
more raincoats~
it is good to be home~

confusion

I am in a confuse position~
I have a boyfriend~
however he doesn't spend time with me~
it is a long distance relationship~
It looks like he has a better life~
with or without me~
it looks the same~
what could I do ?
Could I stop thinking him as my boyfriend?
try to find another person instead,
or wait for him?
I don't know what to do?
it is sad,
when he stop phoning you~
seeing you~
won't spend time with you~
well,
just come to think of it~
I don't know if I could take this anymore~
I hope everything will be ok again~

Let it be

Let it be~
because life can be hard~
Let it be~
God is good~
When life is hard ~
there is some sparkle of hope in everything~
so don't give up~
lighten it up~

Time

Time passed so quickly,
like a flash of light,
even a rocket can't sustains,
not even the fastest car could reach its speed.
don't let the time wasted,
just be there,
and live it.
live the best of it.

limit

Don't set up the limit~
you can do better than that~
try to do just your best~
just be there~
and don't be too hard on yourself as well.

Life~

life is a precious gift from God~
It's a mystery from above~
Sometimes it is hard to understand~
Other times you can perceive a little~
It's a gift to number the days~
because you never know~
When the life will end~

Negative thoughts

Life can be depressing~
When the negative thoughts fill in the depths of the heart~
I have to fight with the negative thoughts sometimes~
Actually it is a way of being human~
Negative thoughts could be draining my energy slowly ~
It can snare me ~
tripped me~
or belittle myself~
however, there is always a way to overcome this problem~

sharing

I am a reader,
I love to read,
well, to be a good writer,
we must be a good reader.
Read extensively.
"Read" is such a magical word.
Read a book could be fun thing to do ~
It makes the imagination grows wild,
Moving forward to a land of imagination,
The characters will be showing me where to go,
The author will be my tour guide,
Characters are maps and friends to the trip.
Ah!!!!!!
It is fun to read all kinds of books,
Explore the new worlds.
Don't stop reading,
because you will never know
What is next........

I love to read

I love to read~
Everytime I would get a book just read!! Read!!! Read!!!
Couldn't keep my hands off a book.
I love to guess the author trying to tell me.
There're surprises in the books.
I would love to find out .
It is interesting to guess and enjoy a book in hand.
Recently I am going to read a book written by "Diane Setterfield".
The book's name is "The Thirteenth Tale".
Many people who enjoy a mystery novels would love this one.
I glimpse a through a few pages.
It is pretty good.
I am going to go through the whole book.
It might be a little bit hard for me at first,
I am going to enjoy this book.
Yes Indeed.
Indeed!!!!!! I will!

simple life

life could be more complex sometimes~
I really wish to live a simple life~