complex

why can't people live a simple life?
I want to live a simple life.
however it is hard.
there is a marriage banquet in beginning of November.
Amanda is going to bring the kid middle of November,
time is at hand.
feeling strange, and complex.
nowadays, people 's relationship is more complex than before.
I don't like it.
I want to be free from it.
there is no one who could love me.
I am different from them.
that is why it is hard for me to find a husband for myself.
I am from Saturn.

simple

why life to them is smoothly as possible?
why some people could have smooth life?
I don't have a simple smooth life.
because I have to fight the bigger battles,
around myself,
my jealousy, my hurt, my thoughts, my old self,
I have to fight them all.
to keep the balance.
some people seems to get everything smoothly.
aye.....
I have nothing to say.
I just don't know what to think.
Sooner or later,
we have to face them.
well, I learn not to run from problems but to face it.
it is sad. however it is sadder.
I just hope.
hope.
soon time will tell me, heal me, and to be more stronger than before.

sharing

Do you know everyone encounter the different problems?
my sister-in-law is beautiful, smart, independant, and all of it.
she know how to use her hands to make delicious dishes.
You never know how it is,
when people start to compare.
it is not fair but it shouldn't matter.
however sometimes it is matter the most.
I want to have a good hands.
but my hands only make a fool of me.
like has mind of its on.
I want to be like her.
no
but I know I have encounter more problems than her.
struggling when my brother's hand is with her.
holding my brother's hand,
my brother's loving hands gets embrace.
loving arms.
now they already have a kid.
because I want to have someone walk beside me .
holding my hands,
using his loving arms around me.
I never have a chance to dance with a man.
except my father.
I never have a chance to dance with my brother.
right now I never have a chance to dance with a man.
Man in this world, they want the best.
anyway.
I am just a ordinary woman.
too ordinary to be realize
everytime this stupid family come to Taiwan.
I have to leave my room to them.
I have to leave my room to use my mother's little room downstairs.
they live comfortable.
I have nothing to say.
but I do hate them to come back.
I wish I don't ever need to see them.
because there is nothing I could do.
to change my life.
when is my turning point
I hope I have my own sky.
my own place.
I hope my turning point is sooner to be here.